Since the beginning of time there has been a cosmic attack on the family, specifically targeted at the wives of husbands who are passive. Go back to Adam and Eve and simply ask the question, where was Adam while Eve was being tempted?
Leadership begins at home. Recently I posted Why Men Cheat but the problem exists with women as well.
The polls I have read show a wide range of anywhere from 20-49% of married women are involved in infidelity. Men, that number will never be completely eradicated but if we practice best leadership practices in our family, that number could be greatly reduced.
WomanSavers.com (the self-proclaimed ‘world’s largest database rating good and bad men’) recently polled more than 9,400 women. 49% stated they had cheated on their spouse. Sadly, another 26% said they would if they knew they could get away with it. Now I don’t know where this sample group came from but as mentioned earlier, the smallest survey I read was 20%.
Here’s what womansavers.com stated were the reasons why:
1. Familiarity has bred indifference. – The most common justification for infidelity from women was that they feel taken for granted. When a woman feels like little more than a “ball and chain”, attention from someone else becomes extremely seductive.
2. You’re leading parallel lives. – This flows from indifference. You used to travel the same path together, but lately your lives and interests have diverged. The husband wants to spend time with his buddies or watching football during his free time. The wife would rather go antiquing or quite frankly do anything else.
3. The passion has fizzled. – The romance has gone. Intimacy has become merely maintenance in nature.
4. Fantasy has been replaced with reality. This happens when passion fades and wives realize their husband is not the knight in shining armor she fell in love with. Instead, his personality and habits begin getting under her skin. She feels her prince has more in common with a frog, and she has become tired of kissing a frog.
5. Her ego needs a boost. – She needs to feel pretty again or get her groove back. Husbands, if you don’t tell your wife that she is pretty, your passivity will open the door for someone else to fill that void.
*Special Warning – If you are a husband who has lost his job or you stay home with the kids because your wife earns more money, be very careful. She puts on a suit and goes to work every day where she interacts with high-achieving alpha males. She gets complimented frequently because she looks good and is accomplishing much. Then she may think she comes home to an under-achieving husband who takes her for granted. Many times, this woman can think she deserves better than you and will act on that thought. An office romance ensues. If it comes down to it, husbands go to work. Let her stay home regardless of the financial implications.
6. Revenge – Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If someone else robs her of your affection, you will be robbed of her’s.
I’m convinced women do not want to cheat. I read many articles about the incredible guilt and grief they experience because of their actions. Satan knew that when he tempted Eve that more than just one life would be destroyed.
Men, sometimes you can do everything right and there will still be women who simply make selfish, bad decisions. However, most of the time if we practice proactive, loving leadership that is not passive, we can address these 6 reasons while protecting our wives and saving our marriages from the widespread and generational damage that results from infidelity.
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