As a leader, are you cognizant of how the atmosphere of the room changes when you enter it?  When you walk into a room, does the energy level go up?  Do people suddenly become silent?  Are they excited because you bring solutions or do they smile through gritted teeth knowing that you will eventually leave and then they can get back to work?

Nowhere do I feel the impact of my presence in a room more than when I come home from work to my wife and daughter.  I have learned that my temperament, attitude, and level of attentiveness will determine the mood of the entire evening.

I was reminded of this on the dates of Tuesday, May 18th through Thursday, May 20th.  The following chronicles the events of those evenings:

Tuesday, May 18th

An issue arose by someone outside our home that caused great distress inside our home.  Nothing we did but we had to deal with it.  I was angry.  Sadly, I did not follow my own advice when I say, “The only difference between anger and danger is a ‘d'”.  Because I was angry at a non-family member, the entire evening became ruined for my wife and daughter.

Wednesday, May 19th

I was still angry about the previous day but this time had to deal with something that did originate in our home.  Because I was already angry the evening was ruined for the 2nd day in a row.

Thursday, May 20th

Enough was enough.  I made apologies to everyone for the previous two days and was committed to having a wonderful evening.  While we were watching television, I spontaneously began tickling my daughter.  This prompted her jumping on my back and trying to tickle me back.  Suddenly, out of nowhere comes my wife joins my daughter as they are both now tag-team tickling me.  During my incessant laughing, even the dog began running around the house and joyfully barking and wagging her tail.  Everyone was having an absolutely great evening!!!

Conclusions

  1. Being a husband and father is a BIG deal.
  2. Our actions as leaders regarding the manner in which we walk into rooms makes a difference.
  3. Our influence can and should be properly leveraged for incredible good.
  4. Our families need and want us to lead in a loving manner.
  5. As husbands and fathers, we need to be intentional that the most important “meeting” we have each day is when we come home.
  6. I work with wonderful people but my greatest joy happens when I arrive home to my family.
  7. Our homes need to places of love, security, fun, acceptance, and safety.
  8. My family desperately needs me. 
  9. And I desperately need them.
  10. And I need God to lead me because I am not talented enough, smart enough, loving enough, or good enough to adequately fulfill this role by myself.

Husbands and fathers, none of us are perfect.  Tell us how the room changes when you come home?

For more information on this subject, read my favorite post that I’ve ever written “Ladies, How To Welcome A Man Home”.

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