Nancy Leigh DeMoss wrote a very famous book entitled  Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free.  Recently, I began to think about the lies we men believe.

After processing my own experiences and those of the people I speak with, the following are 5 Lies Men Believe.  This list certainly is not all-inclusive.  However, it provides a quality snapshot to begin the conversation of the secret struggles men face.  After reading, make your own list and see if it matches up.

  1. “I have to carry the entire load.” – Many men I know carry a burden and have put way too much pressure on their shoulders when it comes to providing for their families.  I understand this struggle.  This occurs when we make unwise spending choices, lose our jobs, or forget that it is actually God who provides all good and perfect things.  We develop a distorted view of self-sufficiency, responsibility and on-going daily provision.
  2. “I deserve better.” – Men leaving their spouses has been at a destructively epidemic level for a long time.  Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord.”  This verse teaches when you leave your wife, you are leaving God’s favor.  You don’t deserve better, you deserve the best.  And that is staying at home!
  3. “The grass is always greener on the other side.” – Whether it’s your spouse, where you live, a job, a certain type of car, or some other form of self-gratification, the reality is that more often than not the reason the grass is greener is because there is a septic tank under there.  The road of longevity is paved with contentment.
  4. “I can still be a good father even if I move out.” – Why would you want to be good?  You should want for yourself and your children to experience everything great.  What will help your children reach their full potential.  Without a father in the home, there is rudderless thinking.  Also, what traits are you instilling into their relational approach that will be manifested in their adult behavior?  You are setting precedent and sending forth children to a time you cannot see.  We believe this lie simply because it helps those who have shirked responsibility cope with and manage their own guilt and pain.
  5. “I’m not good enough.” – Every man understands this statement.  Can I provide?  Can I be faithful?  Will she still love me?  Will my children turn out fine?  Am I thin enough?  Does my wife respect me?  Am I fast enough?  Am I strong enough?  Am I still attractive?  The list goes on and on.  All men have been there.  You can take comfort in knowing none of us are good enough in and of ourselves.  Our life is productive only when we allow Jesus Christ to tell His amazing story through it.  It is because Jesus wants us and wants to use us that makes us valuable. Through Him life has meaning with fulfilled purpose.

Guys, you are not alone. We all face the “value and respect” questions.  Tell us your story.  You will see we understand because we have all been there.

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