Today Tuesday, June 10th at 2:00 PM EST I will be participating in an online leadership forum along with Justin Blaney, Charles Stone and Greg Atkinson.  Put on by Innovate For Jesus, you can listen online for free by clicking http://www.i4j.org/leadership.

One of the questions we will be discussing is what is the best leadership advice someone has ever given you?  The following will be my answer:

There is no shortage of leadership advice and suggestions in our world today.  Matter of fact, you get a lot on this website.  However, when I think of the best leadership advice I ever received, I have to re-visit 1990.

Our church was conducting a revival and the week’s speaker was Manley Beasley Jr.  One evening he was speaking on marriage when he gave the advice which would changed the way I lead in all areas of my life ever since.  When a husband and wife are in a disagreement, the husband should always back down, apologize, and let the wife win – especially when he is RIGHT! 

I know what you are saying – But I’m not wrong!  What about my pride?  What about my ego?  That’s just not right?  Speaking from experience, you should yield each and every time.  Servant leadership is about putting the needs of others ahead of your own.

Let’s look at what Jesus did on the cross.  Jesus was right and did nothing wrong.  In fact, He was perfect.  Yet He took all the blame, all the abuse, all the embarrassment and willingly paid the ultimate price so the relationship with His bride, the church, could be restored.  This is our model as husbands and leaders.

Nothing has helped my marriage more over the years than applying this principle.  Men, we have a gift for messing up and saying the wrong things.  It just comes natural.  Just say, “I’m sorry.”  The irony is you will not be shedding any new light to your wife or those closest to you.  They already know you have messed up.

A good rule of leadership is when in a hole, stop digging.  Someone reading this post needs to stop what they are doing and apologize right now.  Even if you think you are right (and you very well may be), remember what Jesus did on the cross.  Then  the pain and embarrassment you will feel will not seem so bad.

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