If Your Marriage Is Failing…

Unfortunately, there are several people in my personal life who have recently divorced or are strongly considering the idea. This is a devastating epidemic in our country that leaves negative consequences affecting multiple generations.  What is always humbling is that even the most healthiest of marriages are only one wrong decision away from a lifetime of regret.

David Jeremiah recently said “The church has done an excellent job putting ambulances at the bottom of a cliff. What we have to start doing is putting barriers at the top of the cliff.”

I recently had an enlightening conversation on what you actually base a marriage on. Here is what I told the person you do NOT base a marriage on:

1. Trust – Every healthy marriage has trust. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
2. Love – Every healthy marriage has love. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
3. Common Interests – Every healthy marriage has things in common. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
4. Attraction – Every healthy marriage has attraction. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
5. Companionship – Every healthy marriage has companionship. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
6. Money – Every healthy marriage must have financial resources. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
7. Kids – Children are obviously important.  You just can’t base the marriage on them.

Once he picked himself up off the floor we addressed the appropriate follow-up question.  So if you can’t base a marriage on Trust, Love, Common Interests, Attraction, Companionship, Money, or the Children, what do you base a marriage on?

A Healthy Marriage Is Based Upon A Person. A healthy marriage is based on Jesus Christ. Marriage was instituted by God and is a picture of the relationship He has with his bride, the church.

A Healthy Marriage Based Upon A Person has these benefits:

1. A reliable foundation that does not change.
2. A manual called the Bible that teaches you how a marriage works.
3. A model of sacrificial love.
4. A model of commitment.
5. A healthy way to resolve conflict.  For more information on this topic, click here.
6. A reliable counselor who brings reconciliation.
7. A financial coach who helps you avoid the pressure of debt.
8. A generous benefactor who gives you perfect gifts and meets all your needs.
9. A friend who sticks closer than a brother.
10. You understand the value of purity.

The most important leadership roles I have is that of husband and father.  The reason is because each day I set precedent and send my family forward to a time we cannot see.  Tell me your thoughts on what you think a marriage should be based on.

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