Jesus, Leadership, And The Priority Of Relationships

Meeting With Jesus At Night

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to relationships lately.  How I want to have more of them.  How I want them to be more authentic.  How I want them to be deeper and longer lasting.

This morning I was thinking about John 3:1-2 which tells us, “There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews.  This man came to Jesus by night”.  That is an interesting phrase – “by night”.  I have heard it taught two ways.

1.  Many pastors who are sensitive to the plight of those seeking God point out that as a government official, coming to Jesus by night gave Nicodemus safety, anonymity, relaxation, and created an environment and process where he could get his questions answered.

2.  I have heard other pastors state that “by night” does not have a deeper meaning.  Is is simply a statement of chronology or simple reality.  The meeting happened at night.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

Let me say that both sides are from very Godly leaders.  Who am I to tell someone whether they correctly heard from God or not when it is not explicitly spelled out in scripture.  However, I want to propose a third option.

If I am going to meet with someone at night, why would I do that?  I’m tired after a long day at work.  I have things I need to take care of at home.  What about my family?  What am I willing to trade a night with them for? 

When I look at things through those grids, here is why I think the meeting happened at night – Jesus made relationships a priority.  He always had the marginal time and energy to make one more friend, even at inopportune moments.  This was focused and intentional.

What “at night” means to me is that, to put it in a modern context, Nicodemus was more important than going home after a long day and relaxing.  He was more important than kicking his feet up and watching the game.  Relationships mean everything to Jesus.  I don’t think He would rather been at any other place that night. 

Obviously it was dark “at night”.  And in the darkest hours of Jesus’ life on earth, the cross, He still had the time and energy to make friends with one of the thieves on the cross next to Him.

I have an elders meeting at my church on Monday.  We are meeting at night, probably for several hours.  When I think of John 3, what should be my thought process going into the meeting? 

• I wat to focus on the relationships with the other eight men.
• I want to have focused energy (until about 9:00 PM and then it’s anyone guess!).
• I want to know what is going on in their lives.
• I want to know what is important to them.
• I want to know what their issues are.
• I want us to collectively bring solutions and advance mission and vision.
• I want shared experiences.
• I want deeper and longer lasting friendships.
• I want to laugh until my side hurts.
• I want us to point each other to Jesus and collectively become more like Him.

 Those are some of things I’m thinking about the meeting with Jesus “at night” on a Black Friday morning.  What do you think the phrase means?

To get future posts on leadership sent directly to you, please take advantage of the many subscription options on this site.