I know dozens and dozens of lay leaders who were once on their pastor’s inner-circle but later became disillusioned and left the church entirely. Interesting thing about lay leadership, once it is removed leaders often not only leave their position but often leave their church as well.
I was having lunch with my friend Randy Ongie from MAG Bookkeeping last week when shared the following fascinating story:
President Abraham Lincoln was sitting on his porch enjoying the beauty of his favorite oak tree when he noticed two squirrels enter a hole located on the tree’s side. When the squirrels did not quickly return, Lincoln realized the large oak tree was hollow. What once was a symbol of strength and permanence was now dead and needed to be chopped down.
A friend later asked President Lincoln about the tree. With sadness, he said, “I wish I would have never seen those squirrels go into that hole.”
As Christian leaders we are often privy to information that if we are not mature, experienced and in step with the Holy Spirit, can ruin the worship experience. Interesting thing about information, once you have it you are responsible for it. And many lay leaders simply can’t handle the responsibility of knowing the inner-workings of their church. Many would have been better off not knowing.
It is sad when lay leaders “who have seen how the sausage is made leave the restaurant”. However, this is avoidable. The following are 8 Things Pastors Can Do To Avoid Losing Their Inner-Circle:
- Realize You Have An Inner-Circle And Shepherd Them Well – Your top lay leaders are real people with real jobs and concerns. They are trying mightily to have successful marriages, careers and raise Godly children. They need you to be their pastor. They want pastor who truly cares about their soul and them as a person.
- Know Your Limitations – Following the example of Jesus, I would recommend identifying 12 top leaders and pour your life into them. You can be good friends with dozens and dozens. But there is only so much time and relational capacity any pastor has.
- Prioritize The Relationship With Those In Your Inner-Circle – I recommend doing things socially with your inner-circle. Have meals together as a family, watch the game together or play golf. Just participate in activities outside your normal meeting rhythm. And most importantly, HAVE FUN!
- Have Pre-Meetings With Those In Your Inner-Circle – This is HUGE for me. John Maxwell teaches that the success of any meeting is determined by the meeting before the meeting. It has always benefitted me for my pastors to advise me in advance of the meeting agenda, what they hope to accomplish, why it is important to them and how I can help facilitate a positive outcome. In other words, point me in the right direction and I will run through a brick wall for them.
- Schedule Occasional Contacts With Your Inner-Circle – These individuals should be friends first. Every few weeks just drop your top leaders a quick phone call, text or email letting them know you are praying for them. This builds loyalty and trust.
- Invest In Your Inner-Circle – Pastors, the Bible is full of truth and wisdom. Therefore, your top lay leaders should have a competitive advantage in the marketplace because you are their pastor. Invest in your leaders by pointing them to quality leadership books, conferences (I recommend anything put on by Orange) and exposure to other top leaders.
- Allow Your Inner-Circle To Invest In You – It is an honor and gift from God for a lay leader to invest in their pastor. Allow your lay leaders to share their wisdom, business experiences and yes, financial resources with you. This will help you grow exponentially as a leader.
- Celebrate With Your Inner-Circle – If you do not celebrate often why should anyone follow you? Your success is determined by those closest to you so celebrate that success with them.
I have had the privilege of serving with some incredible pastors. So I know the importance of pastors appreciating their top lay leaders. Practicing these eight things will not only give pastors a more effective inner-circle but one which has their back for the long haul.
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