19 Leadership Quotes From Sheila Heen – 2018 Global Leadership Summit

The following are 19 Leadership Quotes From Sheila Heen, Founder of Triad Consulting Group and part of the faculty of Harvard Law School.  Her content came from her book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most:

1. Everyone on this planet has difficult conversations.
2. The way you handle difficult conversations define your leadership.
3. Difficult conversations kind of stink.
4. If you can’t think of a difficult person in your life, it’s you.
5. We have to look beyond what we’re really saying to each other.
6. People’s internal voice are very preoccupied with very predictable things.
7. When things go wrong we assign blame because we want to know what and who the problem is.
8. The more frustrated we are with a person the more we are likely to tell a negative story about them.
9. Whether they should or not, feelings really do matter at work.
10. Identity is the story we tell about who we are.
11. You must ask what do each of us think this conversation is about?
12. Ask what have we each contributed to this problem?
13. Blame tends to look at who is most at fault.
14. Joint contribution assumes everyone involved had something to do with what was wrong.
15. Separate intention from impact.  Other people’s intentions are absent from us.  Often if they are having good intentions, they are having a negative impact.
16. Stop wasting time on blame and look at joint contribution.  Joint contribution is the fuel for learning.
17. If you want to influence other people, the most important thing you can do is open yourself to influence.
18. The most important conversations are not one-shot deals.  They are ongoing.
19. Leadership is about showing someone a better future we will co-create together.

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