I was recently volunteering at a leadership conference and speaking with one of event’s organizers. We were having a very pleasant conversation and she expressed her gratefulness for my participation. I replied, “Well, I’m just trying to earn my free ticket!”
She then said, “We could never pay you back for all you given us.” My sheepish response was, “I could never pay you back for you given me.”
A Healthy Relationship
As the day progressed I thought about that exchange quite a bit. Then I had the following insight:
If you think you could never pay me back for all I given you, and I think I could never pay you back for all you given me, we are going to have a very healthy relationship.
Relationships become unhealthy when one or both of the parties feel they are giving far more than they are getting in return. Over time, this relationship will end because it simply becomes counter-productive for those involved who feel used.
An Unhealthy Relationship
A relational deficit will eventually result in relational destruction.
On the same day I had this conversation, quarterback Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills signed a six-year, $253 million contract extension with $150 million guaranteed. I know this is the market rate for a quarterback of Allen’s caliber but I couldn’t help but think:
What would Josh Allen have to do for the Bills’ owner Terry Pegula and the team’s executives to say to him, “We could never pay you back for all you giving us”, while simultaneously have Josh Allen say, “I know it was the market rate, but I could never pay you back for all given me.” Something tells me only a Super Bowl will do.
How many relationships do you currently have, personal and professional, which you would consider healthy?
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