One of the things many leaders struggle with the most is loneliness. Many feel like everyone wants something from them. They don’t know who to trust.
Therefore, many leaders want to know if there is a criteria on how to recognize if someone is a true friend or not. Well, fortunately there is and the answer is located in the best leadership book ever written.
In the Bible, the book of 2 Timothy is Paul’s deathbed letter to Timothy. I love this book because Paul is about to die and therefore, cuts through the clutter and tells us what is most important in this life. One of those things is genuine friendships.
2 Timothy 1:15-18 says, “You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes. 16 May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, 17 but when he arrived in Rome he searched for me earnestly and found me— 18 may the Lord grant him to find mercy from the Lord on that day!—and you well know all the service he rendered at Ephesus.” (ESV)
Paul identifies the following five tests to know if someone is a true friend. They are:
- Committed – “all who are in Asia turned away from me”
- Consistent – “he often”
- Caring – “refreshed me”
- Courageously Loyal – “was not ashamed of my chains”
- Chasing – “but when he arrived in Rome he searched for me earnestly and found me”
I promised you a sixth quality in this article’s title. Here it is – 2 Timothy 2:3 says, “Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” (ESV)
The sixth quality of a true friend is they are willing to pay a COST to be your friend.
A soon-to-be martyred Paul asked Timothy to share in his suffering. Foxe’s Book of Martyrs reads, “Timothy was the celebrated disciple of St. Paul, and bishop of Ephesus, where he zealously governed the Church until A.D. 97. At this period, as the pagans were about to celebrate a feast called Catagogion, Timothy, meeting the procession, severely reproved them for their ridiculous idolatry, which so exasperated the people that they fell upon him with their clubs, and beat him in so dreadful a manner that he expired of the bruises two days later.”
Timothy was one of Paul’s true friends.
Conclusion
Are you looking for a true friend. Find someone who is:
- Committed – when times are tough or inconvenient.
- Consistent – they are always there.
- Caring – they are kind people who are about others.
- Courageously Loyal – when I am not popular.
- Chasing – they search for me when I have fallen away.
- Cost – they are willing to pay one.
Do you have any friends who pass these tests? More importantly, are you the type of friend who passes these tests?
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