23 Leadership Quotes And Lessons From Instant Family

https://youtu.be/4b43CtsNMgU

Over one-half of million children are currently in foster care.  This is why Instant Family is an incredibly important movie.  It gives a realistic view, from all angles, delivered in a humorous and heartwarming style on the value and experiences on being a foster parent and child.

The movie follows Peter and Ellie, played by Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne respectively.  They are happily married but something is missing.  When made aware of foster care needs, they get involved.  Subsequently, they foster three siblings – 15-year-old angry Lizzy (played magnificently by Isabela Moner), insecure and scared younger brother Juan, and their young sister Lita who is prone to tantrums.  What ensues is what you would expect – a young couple learning to parent while dealing with emotional challenges which had been inflicted upon the children.

While this movie tackles a critical topic and will make you laugh and cry, there are two things I found disturbing.   First, they took bad language as far as you can take it in a PG-13 movie.  They used all the GDs and f-bombs they possibly could.  Why? Also, every negative family stereotype was used in the movie.  I found some of them very offensive.

Here is what is sad – if they would have left out the negative family stereotypes and completely unnecessary foul language, this would be an all-time classic family film.  Now, it will be just another holiday film.  If you go see it, it will be like eating fish – enjoy the meat and spit out the bones.

The following are 23 Leadership Quotes And Lessons From Instant Family:

1. There Is Never A “Good Time” To Have Children – Peter and Ellie were factoring in the cost of having children both naturally or through foster care.  As all parents know, the numbers did not work out.
2. Good Parents Are Resourceful – Ellie said, “If a kid shows up you figure it out.”
3. People Often Think Foster Parents Are A Special Breed – Peter said, “People who take in foster kids celebrate holidays when there isn’t one.”
4. Good Parents Are Reliable Parents – During one of their training classes it was said, “No matter how hard I tried to push them away, they were always there with a sack lunch and a ride.”
5. All Your Life Helps Prepare You For Parenting – As home flippers, Peter told Ellie, “We see things in a state of repair and turn them around.”
6. Being A Parent Is A Permanent Leadership Position – Social worker Karen, played beautifully by Olivia Spencer, said during class, “Your real kids are different.  You can’t erase them.”
7. More Great Parents Are Desperately Needed – “We appreciate cultural sensitivity but we don’t have enough parents.”
8. Humor Helps You Cope With Heartbreak And Disappointment  – Trying to lighten the mood, Lizzy said upon arriving at Peter and Ellie’s home, “Foster joke.  How do you spot a foster kid?  They carry their whole life in a Hefty bag.”
9. When You Have Had Nothing You Value Simple Things – On Christmas morning, the two youngest children valued the cardboard boxes over the Christmas gifts in them.
10. Personal Gifts Carry Greater Value – Lizzy said, “It’s nice to see my brother and sister get gifts not donated by total strangers.”
11. The Three Rs For Handling Conflict – Regulate (take a deep breath).  Relate (show understanding).  Reason (work out the problem together).
12. Humor Helps You Cope With Conflict – Karen told a foster parent support group, “You’ve got to laugh or you’ll never make it through this.”
13. Crisis Brings People Together – The family began to bond when Juan suffered a foot injury.
14. Healthy Relationships Take Time To Build – They cannot be microwaved.  They can only be crockpotted.
15. Healthy Relationships Are Built On Shared Experiences – Peter took Lizzie to work and let her take out some anger during Demo Day.
16. People Are More Important Than Possessions – One of Ellie’s most-treasured possessions was a crystal bowl.  Of course, it was destroyed because of family issues.  Ellie, however, handled it very well.
17. Return To Your Core Values During Times Of Crisis – Ellie’s mother said during a difficult time, “It’s helpful to remember why you became a parent in the first place.”
18. Karen reminded everyone, “Things that matter are hard.”
19. Parents Are All Children Have – Peter’s mother said, “You’re all they got.  Your job is to keep them safe.”
20. One Of A Father’s Primary Roles Is Protector – Let’s just say Peter asserted his presence with authority when a 22-year-old was making online advances to Lizzy.
21. Life Is Often Messy And That’s A Good Thing – In their first evening without the children, Ellie told Peter, “It’s clean and quiet in here.  I hate it.”
22. The Best Indicator Of Future Performance Is Past Performance – The children’s birth-mother came back into their lives with the intention of reuniting.  However, her previous drug issues resurfaced.
23. Once the adoption became official, Lita asked her sister, “Lizzie, can I go home now?” 

Once again, Instant Family has an important message.  I just wish it was more family-friendly.