{"id":21409,"date":"2017-11-12T13:50:50","date_gmt":"2017-11-12T18:50:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/?p=21409"},"modified":"2017-11-12T13:51:26","modified_gmt":"2017-11-12T18:51:26","slug":"17-ways-to-be-a-kinder-gentler-pastor-and-leader","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/2017\/11\/12\/17-ways-to-be-a-kinder-gentler-pastor-and-leader\/","title":{"rendered":"17 Ways To Be A Kinder, Gentler Pastor And Leader"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The only difference between anger and danger is a “D”. \u00a0Unfortunately, I am seeing a lot of angry pastors lately<\/strong> and as a result, I am seeing a lot of pastors who are unknowingly in danger. \u00a0If this describes you, I want to proactively offer you some help before it’s too late.<\/p>\n

Shawn Lovejoy<\/strong><\/a> is the Founder & CEO of CourageToLead.com<\/a>.<\/strong> \u00a0If you are a pastor or church leader who desires someone to come alongside you and help you become a success in life and everything God created you to be as a pastor, spouse, parent or friend, there is no one I recommend more than Shawn. \u00a0This is not hyperbole. \u00a0If you are wanting to reach your potential, click HERE<\/a> and start a conversation with him TODAY.<\/p>\n

Recently, he conducted an online coaching session to help pastors become kinder, gentler leaders.<\/strong> \u00a0I found the content so helpful I wanted to share it with my audience as well.<\/p>\n

These thoughts originated from the monthly #CourageToLead Courageous Community Call!<\/strong>\u00a0 If you could benefit from a monthly coaching call, join the Courageous Community at\u00a0couragetolead.com\/courageous-community\/<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The following are\u00a017 Ways To Be A Kinder, Gentler Pastor And Leader”<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Don’t Lead Fatigued<\/strong> – “I don’t believe in balance. \u00a0I believe biblically God advocates rhythm. \u00a0Intensity – Rest, Intensity – Rest.”<\/li>\n
  2. Spend More Time On The “Why” Than The “What”<\/strong> – “Don’t be a pastor that manages and facilitates all the meetings and hands out all the orders.”<\/li>\n
  3. \u00a0Take A Weekly Stroll Through The Offices<\/strong> – “Put 30 minutes on your calendar every week. \u00a0Walk through your offices and don’t be in a hurry… Make every interaction you have with your team members to be the highlight of their day.”<\/li>\n
  4. Be Demanding Without Being Demeaning<\/strong> – “Great leaders do challenge their teams to improve, get better but being a kinder, gentler leader doesn’t mean we can’t have high expectations from our team.”<\/li>\n
  5. Tell People We Love Them<\/strong> – “Shock the world. \u00a0When you finish a conversation say, ‘You know I love you, right?.. \u00a0Love empowers coaching and accountability.'”<\/li>\n
  6. Assume The Best About People<\/strong> – “Don’t take everything so personal… Think about how you can develop people rather than discard them.”<\/li>\n
  7. Keep A Clean Slate And A Short Memory<\/strong> – “If something bothers you, if something frustrates you, go ahead and tell your team.”<\/li>\n
  8. Do The Right Thing The Right Way<\/strong> – “There’s a wrong way to do the right thing… If you do the right thing the wrong way you’ll still get fired.”<\/li>\n
  9. Guard My Tongue<\/strong> – “Believe it or not, you should not say everything that comes to your mind… HELP<\/strong> \u00a0H – Is this Honoring to God and other people? \u00a0E – Is this Encouraging or demeaning? \u00a0L – Is this Loving. \u00a0It has to do with the way I say it? \u00a0P – Peacemaking. \u00a0Is this peacemaking? \u00a0Conflict is inevitable but drama is a choice.”<\/li>\n
  10. Be Consistent In Our Meetings With Our Leaders<\/strong> – “If the only time people hear from you is when there is a problem, your a bad leader… Being too busy for your people is a cop out.”<\/li>\n
  11. Have Meetings Before The Meeting\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n
  12. Ask For Consistent Feedback<\/strong> – “If it is great, be specific. \u00a0It helps me… \u00a0Most people won’t buy-in unless they weigh-in.”<\/li>\n
  13. Normalize The Coaching Conversation<\/strong> – “Always begin with affirmation… \u00a0It is not your \u00a0job to convict people. \u00a0That is the Holy Spirit’s job.”<\/li>\n
  14. Lead With Questions Not Commands<\/strong> – “The lowest level of leadership is positional leadership… \u00a0I’m going to ask something, not demand something.”<\/li>\n
  15. Confront Privately<\/strong> – “The opposite of conflict is not peace. \u00a0It is artificial harmony and iron sharpens iron through friction and heat… \u00a0Their response is not our responsibility.”<\/li>\n
  16. Balance Truth With Grace<\/strong> – “Make sure you’re willing to forgive. \u00a0They shouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness. \u00a0Forgiveness is a spiritual decision and it’s between us and God first. \u00a0Choose to forgive.”<\/li>\n
  17. In Everything Be Filled With The Spirit<\/strong> – “The Fruit of The Spirt is love, joy, and it’s peace, and it’s forbearance, and it’s kindness, it’s goodness, and it’s faithfulness, it’s gentleness, and it’s self-control… Frankly, if He is filling me with His Spirit, the fruit of that will be a gentler, kinder Shawn Lovejoy and that’s what I want for you guys.”<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    What is one thing from Shawn’s coaching which will make you a gentler, kinder pastor?<\/p>\n

    \"1269\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    Click\u00a0HERE<\/a>\u00a0or on the image to the left and as a free gift for subscribing to this site, you can receive\u00a0my new Ebook\u00a01269 Leadership Quotes: Timeless Truths From 2016\u2019s Top Christian Leadership Conferences<\/strong><\/em><\/a>. \u00a0Featured are the Johnny Hunt Mens Conference, ReThink Leadership, Orange and Leadercast Conferences among others. \u00a0If applied, these insights will make you an exponentially better leader. \u00a0Enjoy!!!<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The only difference between anger and danger is a “D”. \u00a0Unfortunately, I am seeing a lot of angry pastors lately and as a result, I am seeing a lot of pastors who are unknowingly in danger. \u00a0If this describes you, I want to proactively offer you some help before it’s too late. Shawn Lovejoy is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21250,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[346],"class_list":["post-21409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-leadership","tag-pastors"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/CTL_Web-Ad_300x350_v32.jpg","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21409"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21409"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21418,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21409\/revisions\/21418"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briandoddonleadership.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}