A wise person once told me, “Brian, everyone has a nail and many people view the pastor as a hammer. They put their nail in front of the pastor and ask him to hit it. This is especially true when the pastor is new.” The point he was making was many people have an agenda and, whether good or bad, they want the pastor to help further it.
I spend a lot of time coaching pastors. In fact, I lead a team of people who coach pastors as well. I say to each of them on their first date of employment, “Don’t ask pastors for anything… until you first give them something.”
I want my team and I to be known as people who serve pastors, not use them.
The reason is simple.
Most people only ask something from pastors. Such as:
- “Please support my ministry idea or what God’s called me to do.”
- “Let’s have lunch or dinner.”
- “Why don’t you preach on this?”
- “Please push this agenda.”
- “Can I have a job?”
- “Pastor, do you have just a quick second?”
- “Can you announce this from the platform?”
- “Can you do something about the music?”
- “Do you have time this week we can get together?”
- “Pastor, I’ve been praying and God told me to tell you this..”
- And on and on and on….
While most people only ask something from pastors, few are willing to give them anything.
I coach my team to always add value to pastors first. This may come in the form of a book, encouraging conversation, free coaching or a complimentary ebook or webinar. After adding sufficient value, then and only then is it acceptable to respectfully ask for something in return.
While this may sound incredibly simple, common sense does not always equal common practice.
It has been my experience this approach is unique and sets you apart from others in the pastor’s ecosystem. You can never go wrong be leading with a servant’s mindset rather than a taker’s. It also shows respect and quite frankly, is good manners.
In addition to pastors, I have also discovered this is a wonderful life lesson as well. Don’t ask anyone for anything… until you have first given them something of value.
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