This past weekend I walked my daughter Anna down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams. Giving my life to Christ and marrying my wife Sonya are the two most important days of my life. Giving my daughter’s hand in marriage and the following reception was the most fun day of my life.
I want to give you 7 Life-Changing Leadership Lessons I experienced from being The Father of the Bride. Enjoy!
The Night Before The Wedding
The night before the wedding I could not sleep. It wasn’t because of the hotel’s flat pillows or hard mattress. It was because I was wide awake and filled with regret. What kept going through my mind were all the mistakes I ever made as a father and how I wished I would have done a better job. I thought of many times I wasn’t sensitive enough or how I should have given her more of my time. Knowing girls often marry someone just like their father, I hoped I had set a good example.
I did get some sleep but woke up with an overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness. Where did the time go and did I waste too much of it?
But shortly after 7:00 AM when I received a text from Anna. She was asking my advice on how to handle a certain situation that day. This was more than a text. It was a comforting and confirming gift from God. It was as if He was telling me how much my daughter loved me and still wanted my advice. I wasn’t perfect but I wasn’t all bad either.
The Leadership Lesson – “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” – Psalm 127:3 (NLT). Enjoy every moment you can with them because the time flies by. Also, live the type of life that you will have no regrets.
The First Viewing
The image I have always had in mind of Anna was her in a onesie sitting on my lap as I read books to her. Well, a couple of hours before the wedding I was escorted to an offsite location for pictures and my initial viewing of her in another onesie, this time in her wedding dress. My little girl had turned into such a beautiful young woman it took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes.
The Leadership Lesson – Properly evaluate reality. My daughter was no longer a toddler. In fact, she was a beautiful young lady. The reality is she had been for quite some time.
The Letter To The Father
It was then she presented both my wife Sonya and I letters written for the occasion. The words Anna wrote I will cherish for the rest of my life. In addition, I have had the privilege of accumulating many special items in my life. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will ever mean as much to me as the letter Anna wrote.
The Leadership Lesson – It is incomprehensible and impossible to describe how much a father loves his daughter.
The Calm Before The Vows
As I picked Anna up to drive her to the wedding venue, she was understandably nervous/anxious. Anna wanted to stay in motion as much as possible. Movement kept her mind active and not focused on the enormity of the moment. So we literally drove around the parking lot for about five minutes. Hey, whatever the bride wants, the bride gets!
Once the family had been escorted down the aisle to their seats, it was just Anna, myself, and two ladies holding the train of her dress in the back. She couldn’t move but wanted to stay in motion. So she and I just danced in place bringing one of the ladies holding her train to tears.
We then began our walk down the aisle. I asked her how slow she wanted to walk. She said, “I want to go fast”, and away we went. I kept an eye on her veil as she felt it might be falling off her head. It was not but because of our fast pace and my focus on the veil, the next thing I knew we were standing in front of the pastor and groom.
The Leadership Lesson – I was told to walk slowly during every moment of the weekend and enjoy creating the memories I would never forget. This was the best advice I got during the whole weekend. During life-changing moments, walk slowly and take it all in.
The Reception
Anna is a program director at her church and she programmed a masterpiece of a reception. Two words – glow sticks!!!! Everyone is good dancer when waving glow sticks.
The Leadership Lesson – Let people play to their strengths. Everyone wins when this happens.
The Morning After
“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” – Luke 2:19 (KJV). The words were written after Mary had just given birth to her new baby boy, Jesus.
I took a walk on the beach the morning after the wedding. It was a bright sunny morning, about 70 degrees and without a cloud in the sky. The sea was calm and I was the only one within hundreds of yards. Everything was perfect. Similar to Mary, I simply pondered all of the weekend’s events and those of the last 23 years in my heart. It was a holy moment of reflection, gratefulness, joy, and worship.
The Leadership Lesson – The greatest leader ever is Jesus Christ and He is generous God. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” – James 1:17 (ESV). Raising Anna and watching her grow up was a good and perfect gift.
The Money
This is the elephant in the room so let’s address it. At the end of the day, the money doesn’t matter. Were we over our budget? Of course. Was it worth it? Every single day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Let the budget be a guideline but in reality, there really is not a budget. Sorry Dave Ramsey!!! Hopefully this event will only happen once and the joy of it will eclipse any cost that was paid. After all, can you truly put a cost on the picture below? I can’t.
Photo taken by the uber-talented Mackenzie Ortiz. Check out her photography work at https://mackenzieortiz.com.
The Leadership Lesson – Smart leaders know the difference between value and cost and choose value every single time.
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