Many families have a door, door frame, or some area in their home where they measure the height of their children or grandchildren each year on their birthday. For my family, it was a tree out at my grandparents in their backyard. This year-to-year comparison in height is a measurement of physical maturity.
So how do you measure emotional maturity in your children?
When my daughter Anna was three years old, we took her to Grant Park Zoo in Atlanta. I said, “Anna, if you could ask me any question in the world, what would it be?” She said, “Daddy, why do elephants stink?” This is a great question from a three-year-old. One year later, we returned to the zoo for her fourth birthday and I asked the same question. Anna asked if my step-father who had died earlier in the year was in Heaven. Anna’s question revealed a lot of emotional growth in her life during the previous year.
You measure emotional maturity by the questions your children are asking.
You can also learn a lot about the maturity of the leaders in your organization by the questions they are asking. For instance, if the questions from your leaders are about why type of paper you are using in the copier rather than what type of culture you are building, you are probably in trouble as an organization.
Recently, Mike Linch, the incomparable senior pastor of NorthStar Church, talked about three questions people ask when challenging times arise in their lives. His outline is especially applicable to leaders. Let’s look at those questions:
Why?
We all ask the “Why” question from time-to-time but you don’t want to stay in the “Why” phase very long. It is acceptable to date “Why” but you don’t want to marry it. “Why” usually leads leaders to wrong decisions. There are two better questions to ask. First,
What now?
Continually asking “Why” will lead you to wrong decisions, but asking “What now” will usually lead you in right directions. Asking this question changes your focus. “What now” involves others. You may not be able to change what happened to you as a leader, but you can use that issue to empathize and sympathize with others. Asking “What now” means your pain and disappointment will not be wasted. As Robin Roberts is credited with saying, “Make your mess your message.”
How?
This question reveals true maturity as a leader. What you are saying is, “Lord, I don’t know why this happened. I don’t know how you are going to use it, but I trust you.” As Mike pointed out, “Trusting God with ‘how’ always leads to peace and repentance.” In the “How” stage, mature leaders don’t worry about the “How”. They leave the “How” to God.
Leaders, are you or your teams dealing with some challenging issues right now? If so, what are those challenges revealing about your maturity? Listen to the questions being asked and you will have your answer.
To hear more from Mike Linch and other world-class leaders like John Maxwell, Clayton King, Benny Tate, Tony Morgan, Dharius Daniels, Jenny Catron, Carey Nieuwhof, myself, and many others click HERE or on the image below to sign up for November 17and 18’s Church Growth Summit for FREE!!! This is can’t-miss content from some of the best leaders in the world!!!
