“We’re all going to go through life and have huge setbacks. I feel fortunate that mine being in a professional sense up to this point, it built resilience because every stadium I played in, I was abused. Walking down the street, people (were) putting their windows down. So it builds mental resilience. I’ve been through some of the most difficult scenarios I can professionally and therefore, whatever happens I can handle and that does give you confidence in dealing with difficult situations.” – England World Cup manager Gareth Southgate
Have you ever experienced a major failure in your life or career? Of course you have. You are not alone. We all have.
On June 26, 1996 Gareth Southgate (picture above) experienced a career-defining failure. England was facing Germany in the UEFA Euro Semifinal soccer tournament. To put this in proper perspective, this sporting event is the equivalent of America’s Super Bowl. Southgate, one of England’s star players, lined up for a penalty kick to decide the game. If he makes the kick, the club has a chance to move onto the finals. If he misses, England is out of the tournament. Missing the kick would be a national embarrassment and let his entire team, family, friends, and nation down. It was if Southgate’s playing career had crystalized into this single, career-defining kick. Never had one swing of the leg meant so much. It was all on the line. No pressure, right?
Unfortunately, Southgate’s worst fears were realized. Despite his best efforts, Southgate’s kick was stopped by the German goalie.
Today, Southgate is the manager of England’s World Cup team. He obviously overcame his failed kick and used it to springboard into greater things in his life. But how did he do it and what can we learn from his handling of failure that can help us overcome missed expectations?
Prior to today’s match against France, Southgate sat down with Fox Sports’s Tom Rinaldi. He said, “We’re all going to go through life and have huge setbacks. I feel fortunate that mine being in a professional sense up to this point. It built resilience because every stadium I played in, I was abused. Walking down the street, people (were) putting their windows down. So it builds mental resilience. I’ve been through some of the most difficult scenarios I can professionally and therefore, whatever happens I can handle and that does give you confidence in dealing with difficult situations.”
The following are six lessons we learn from this great leader on the subject of failure:
Failure Is Inevitable
It does not discriminate and it visits all of us sooner or later. The question is not will we experience failure? The question is how will we handle it when it comes?
Some Failures Will Be Huge
A small failure is an inconvenience. It is the huge failures, the major setbacks, the ones which leave scars, those are the ones we learn from.
Failures Can Be Gifts If You Handle Them Right
Failures will make you bitter or better. Southgate felt fortunate to experience his failure. Failures are rarely final. If handled right, they can actually be learning opportunities for growth.
Failure Builds Resilience
Southgate was heckled, abused, demeaned, and marginalized because of his missed kick. But pressure makes diamonds. Southgate used this experience to become wiser, kinder, and more empathetic to the players he now leads.
Failure Builds Confidence
Because Southgate went through this experience, he now knows how to better handle difficult situations. If you let failure do its work in your life, you too will be better equipped to handle the difficult situations when they come.
Conclusion
Southgate concluded, “Whatever happens in the World Cup, life is going to go on and there are far more important things but I’ve heard people use the phrase before, ‘Our’s is the most important thing of the unimportant things in life.’ I think that’s a pretty good assessment for what it is.” This leads to our final lesson from Southgate.
Failure Needs To Be Contextualized
Once again, failure is usually not final. Many times, what you are going through is the most important of the unimportant things in your life. So learn from it, grow, get better, and move on to the next challenge.
What is one thing you learned from Gareth Southgate which will help you handle failure better?
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